Obviously, the best part about being a superhero (beside the super ladies) is the superpowers that come with it. Whether it be super elasticity or super vision or super speed, they are all completely and utterly awesome. So, I pose you the following question: If you had the choice, what superpower would you want for yourself? Within this article, I will list what I think are the top four best, most advantageous, and just plain most badass superpowers that could ever be. Maybe you’ll agree, maybe not. So, let’s begin. In no particular order, the best superpowers are…
We all run late and, whenever we are late, something suffers. Maybe our pay is docked, maybe we miss the opening number of our kid’s musical, and, worst of all, our morning bowel movement may get pushed back. With super speed, nothing so horrendous as all that can happen ever again! Is the line too long at the coffee shop? That is no problem! Wait in line and sprint to work—within three seconds. So, you want to see the movie tonight rather than tomorrow. There is not an issue with that! Take as long as you want getting ready and then zip on over to the ticket line in under a minute!
There are many uses for the all-alluring super speed. Of course, the best thing that comes with this power is the ability to ask the age-old questions “Do you want to see me run to that mountain?” “Do you want to see me do it again?” and actually be able to do it.
This power makes annoying people fun and entertaining in an entirely new respect. Sit back, close your eyes, and imagine how many awesome pranks you could pull if you had the ability to make yourself invisible whenever and for however long you desired.
I think that if I had this power, I would not scare people – I hate being scared myself, so I will be courteous – but instead I would simply whistle in a silent room. Not for a long time, but I would do it just long enough to get them scratching their heads. And, when the poor bastard finally makes himself think his mind was just playing tricks on him, I would whistle softly again. And so the cycle would repeat.
The hardest part about having this power would be keeping laughter silent.
Selective X-Ray Vision
We, as geeks, just do not see much of the ladies due to our video gaming, card trading, and overall paleness. Well, with selective X-Ray vision, we could see as much of them as we want! I mean, come on, guys. We deserve it, do we not?
There are other things that this power could be useful for besides landing us in jail on some hardcore sexual harassment. Want to know if you should hide that letter from school from your parents? Look inside with your super eyes! Wondering what’s behind door numbers one, two, and three? Pick the best one with your mega sight!
You may have noticed that with this power, I always call it selective X-Ray vision. Here is why: permanent X-Ray vision is the sharpest of double-edged swords. For every Kim Kardashian booty and Jessica Alba figure in the world, there are a hundred .. well, not so Kardashian bodies. Selectiveness is necessary, here.
I’m sick of having my mother open my pickle jars for me. ‘nuff said.Four Superpowers We All Want and Why,