Stick Figure Smash Game Review
December 9, 2011
By Maxwell J. Provo
There is absolutely no point to this game. The only thing you feel while playing this game is confused and puzzled. There are no levels, no guns, no points (unless you are in Score Mode), no enemies, barely any controls, but most of all, there is no fun.
Stick Figure Smash puts you in control of a Stick. Your goal is to whip him around the screen and, well, that is it. There are no points to gain in Normal Mode. In fifteen minutes of play, I could not kill this stubborn idiot. I am not so sure that is possible. There are two ways to play this game. In one mode, Normal Mode, you simply fling the helpless bastard against the wall and watch his blood come out in neat dots around the screen. You can move the mouse to be near the stick and hit the spacebar to create an “explosion.” This deals some damage, but does not add any fun.
A Game for Bachelors?
In Score Mode, you have sixty seconds to rack up as many points as you can by whipping the Stick onto the ground and the walls. You gain points for each time you inflict damage on it, and you are compared to another player around the world. Yes, on the leader board there is only one chap from Australia. He has reached 1,000+ points. Shockingly, it is rumored he is a bachelor.
Within the two modes there are a few backgrounds to choose from: Normal, Blood Bath, and Underwater. In Normal, there is nothing special. Simply a room with walls to whip the figure into. In Blood Bath, the Figure’s blood remains on the screen and does nothing but get in the way of your vision. In Underwater, you are placed under water. After five minutes of trying, it proved impossible to smash the figure into the walls or floor and inflict damage. I gave up.
Stick Figure Smash is nothing but a waste of time. There is simply no point to playing. The game is not even addicting or fun. You can get the same amount of fun from cleaning your toilet. With your tongue.
RATING: 1 Stick
Mouse to grab Stick and fling it; Arrow keys to move Figure about and smash into walls; spacebar to create explosion around cursor.Stick Figure Smash Game,